the one with multiple posts in one day...#3

I've had two big spiritual revelations lately.

#1: I'm selfish. Last week this really hit home with me. I was having some really selfish thoughts in relation to Chloe Belle. Let's hope this is totally normal for first-time moms.
We've been blessed because Chloe is such a good sleeper. Last night we put her down around 8:30, but she just would not quit crying, which is unusual for her. I did not want to go get her. My mind was racing with selfish thoughts. Didn't Chloe Belle know I just wanted to snuggle in bed with Adam and watch a movie? I really didn't want to be a mom in that moment. So, I go get her and bring her back to bed with us. We probably had the most precious hour together. Chloe was so happy. She sat up with us and just giggled and cooed and made the most precious faces. I was blessed beyond measure in that stolen hour together. If I had let my selfish nature prevail, I would have missed out on our sweet time. It made me think about all the times in life when I selfishly choose myself over others. How many blessings have I missed out on because I'm thinking only of myself?

#2: This past week was GIC at church. It was a really unique experience for me because its the first time in 4 years where I haven't run the event. Plus, this GIC was special because we brought home all of Shades' home missionaries. I have such a strong relationship with so many of our missionaries, and it was so nourishing to be around them all. As I heard story after story of their lives on the field, I was motivated. I began thinking thoughts like, "I want to do something radical for God." As I was reflecting on this in the wee hours of the morning one night, I realized something radical indeed. I'm not headed for the mission field anytime soon, but I can live radically here. What if I strived for radical holiness? What if I attempted to live a life of complete obedience? Sure, its certainly not as attractive to me as life in Africa, but it is desperately needed. My life is lacking. But its not lacking in the way I sometimes think. What I need to live the kind of life I dream of is radical obedience-the absolute pursuit of holiness.

God, please let me rest in your grace and supply me with the power of your Spirit so that I can live a Christ-like life!