Wednesday I found a huge puddle of liquid on the ground underneath the front of the car. Fast forward 24 hours, and we paid $1300 (strike that-we put $1300 on a credit card) to fix our car.
I've been memorizing James this fall with a friend. After my immediate pity party over the money, I thought about reasons I can consider this trial joy.
-I am grateful we have a beautiful, fancy car to drive our family around in total comfort.
-I am grateful to have a car that transports me to Bible study, ministry opportunities, and fellowship.
-The process of paying off the credit card will mean we have to be disciplined, hard working, self-denying, and steadfast. All of these things are very good.
-This is another event to remind me that we need to be faithful with our resources.
Today I went to the drug store with little Lily. She's had bad diarrhea for a few days. Otherwise, she's super healthy, it's just that the diarrhea has caused awful diaper rash which is making her bottom bleed and she's sobbing whenever she goes poop or has her diaper changed.
I walked into the drug store and bought probiotics and extra strength diaper rash cream. I checked out and it was $50. My first thought was to despair. "How can we afford all this?" My thoughts were racing.
As I climbed into the car I remembered that diarrhea is the second leading cause of death among children. In impoverished countries, mothers hold their beloved toddlers in their arms as they scream with the pain of diarrhea...and those mothers cannot go to the drug store to help ease their children's discomfort. Rather, they just simply hope the diarrhea doesn't end in death.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I allow the gluttony of my culture to affect my attitude more than the truth of the Word. I am sorry that I'm doing NOTHING to help the precious children who are dying from unsafe water and lack of sanitation today--all 4,500 of them.
I'm so sorry.
But I'm also grateful. Grateful that the implanted Word in me is changing how I react and how I view things. Grateful that God has not given up on me, but that He is at work refining me. Grateful that His mercies are new each morning, and grateful that He gives me grace.
I'm so grateful.