the one when I'm sitting on the couch

I have had a stressful day. A stressful week. A stressful six weeks. Maybe the most stressful ever. I wrote a lot of stressful posts [in my head] on the car ride home today, listening to two babies scream their heads off for an hour straight.

But as I'm sitting here on the couch in my quiet house, I'm grateful.

Grateful for a husband that I'm crazy in love with.
Grateful for two baby girls who make my life so rich.
Grateful for a mom who has been so helpful.
Grateful for the best big sister ever.
Grateful for good friends.
Grateful for a beautiful ministry to college girls.
Grateful for all this provision.
Grateful for chocolate when I'm feeling stressed.
And Grateful for a God who rejoices over me with singing and who quiets me with His love.

the one when I'm brief

It's been a hard couple of days around here, no energy for a fun post.

Two things:

1. I made this soup for dinner tonight, and it was rockin awesome.
2. Lily has found her voice, and I love it.

the one where we say goodbye

Sorry I talked about something major happening and then left you hanging. Although, all the emails and texts I got about it made me feel good-glad to know someone's reading this.

Last week we said goodbye to Jimmie and Max. We got our guys the first year of our marriage and they've been with us each step of the way. We love them. We love snuggling with them in bed, watching them have mighty battles, Adam loves to bury his head in Jimmie's neck-he's convinced Jimmie smells great. We love precious stupid little Max and his desperation for affection. Probably most of all, we've loved watching Chloe Belle fall in love with them.

For several months we've known we needed to find a better home for J&M. Having two babies in 15 months turned us into bad dog owners. We didn't give the guys the love and attention they deserved. We're also planning on moving next summer, and we didn't want to be tied to a place that would work for them too. So, after months of discussing it, we decided to let them go. God provided an awesome family for the guys. They are getting tons of love and attention.

I miss them-I miss Jimmie's serious look of total devotion, I miss Max's earnest heart, and I miss hearing Chloe Belle shout "woof" whenever she sees them. But, I am so so glad they are with a family who has the time and energy to love them well.

Goodbye buddies. Thanks for being a part of our lives.

best buddies

first family photos

the one that's funny

Remember the awesome hair moment from There's Something About Mary?

Here's Chloe Belle this past weekend:

Chloe Belle's do was the result of some buggar smeared in her hair. Please don't leave me a comment telling me I'm a terrible mother for comparing these two moments. You know it's funny.

Thanks to Brandy for the photo.

the one for my adopted baby

To my dear sweet adopted baby,
I have been thinking about you lately. I have been wondering. Wondering when you will come into our life. Wondering if you are already born or if you are still just known to God alone. Wondering what you will look like and who you will be.
I want you to know, my sweet baby, that our family is not complete without you.

I can't wait to be your mommy. I love you little one.

the one about my totally awesome life

the one with a busy week

It's been a busy 8 or 9 days in this household. Adam's back to work, I'm back to work, the girls started day school, Chloe Belle is cutting 4 teeth, Chloe Belle has a double ear infection, it's back to school so I'm working non-stop.

Intense. And something major happened, but it deserves a post all it's own.

the one about my office [the before]

I've worked with UMin for two and a half years. I started in January 2009. That's crazy. Actually, this is my five year anniversary of working at Shades. I started in the Missions Office in August 2006. I worked there three full years-the last semester I worked with the Missions Office I also worked with UMin.
Anyway, boring info for you-I just got a little caught up with how long I've been in this place.

The point of this post is that I've had this job for 2.5 years and I've never fully "moved in" to my office. I think the main reason why is that I've never been convinced I'd be at UMin long. Summer 2009 we were going to move to NOLA, then we found out about Chloe Belle. Then I thought for sure I'd be leaving after having Lily, but last December I decided to be here another year. And I still think this will be my last year, but today I made a decision. I don't want to think about what's going to happen in 12 months. I want to be fully present where I am. I've always been fully present with my ministry-you know how much I love college students-but for some reason I never got settled into my space.

After returning from my maternity leave this summer I have a new office-a legit one. I even have a nameplate by my door-something that never seemed to happen before. I've got a couch for girls to sit on! So I've decided to move in. I'm going to decorate, throw away the files from the girl who was here before me and start my own.

After 2.5 years, I'm going to act like I work here. This is a big moment for me.

I'll send you photos after I decorate...

the one when I'm up all night

For those of you new mommies, you know that the question you dread is, "are they sleeping through the night?" For those mommies whose kiddos slept through the night at 8 weeks, they wear it around like a badge of honor. For those of us whose kiddos are still waking up at 13 weeks, it's the mark of the beast.

Last night I was up all night, and I want to tell you why I love it.

9:30pm: I feed Lily around 10:30 each night. Usually I don't go to sleep until after she eats but last night I was exhausted so I fell asleep with my husband, which is rare, around 9:30

10:20pm: Alarm goes off. Somehow my husband knows I don't want to get up [maybe it was all the groaning and fussing?] and he rolls over to whisper sweet encouragement in my ear. I love my man. I go to feed Lily. I love pulling her up from the crib when she's in a deep sleep. I love how she stretches and smacks on her little hands without ever waking up. She's a cutie.

10:45pm: Luckily my little Lily is a champion eater, so I'm back in the bed.

11:15pm: Chloe Belle starts crying. I remember that she's cutting teeth bad and I forgot to give her motrin before bed. I get up, get the motrin from the kitchen, and go into her room. I pull her up from the crib, give her the motrin, and sit down on the edge of the bed [cb's room doubles as the guest bedroom]. She snuggles up to me, wraps her little arms around my neck, and lays her head in the crook of my neck, falling asleep. I hold her for a few moments, praying I'll always remember what that feels like.

3:00am: Chloe Belle is crying again. This time sweet husband goes in to comfort her. He tells me later that he laid down on the bed with her and could have stayed there all night. I love how he loves her.

5:15am: Lily wakes up. She's so close to sleeping through the night! One of my favorite things about feeding her in the middle of the night is how when she's done she rolls back, stretches her arms and legs reeeeaaaal far, belly bulging, and then curls up in a little ball against me. Chloe Belle did it exactly the same way. Even if its 3 am I love to just sit there for a few minutes, holding my sleeping sweet baby, and adore her precious little life.

5:45am: back in bed. Chloe Belle is crying again. I hold hands with my husband and listen to him say how sad he is that she's in pain. He closes his eyes and I think about how much I love him. Then I close my eyes and think about how much I love my girls.

6:10am: Time to get up and start a new day. Today I go back to work/church for the first time since Lily arrived. I love my job/church.

So you see, waking up in the middle of the night isn't so bad after all.

the one with my beautiful baby

she may not sleep through the night, but she's one good looking baby.

the one about gone with the wind (spoiler alert)

Remember how I said I wanted to see all the movies that have won Academy Award for Best Picture?

Well, I've seen a couple since that post:

The King's Speech. Incredible. Lots of bad words. Incredible story and incredible movie.


Gone With the Wind. This movie totally sucked. Why in the world does everyone love Scarlett O'Hara????? She is spoiled. Hideous. She is a horrible friend-consistently makes out with her only friend's husband. Which makes her an adulterer. She is beyond arrogant. She slaps her slave around. She's a rotten mother. Terrible wife.
So what if she's a survivor? She's one of the worst people ever.
Plus, I always thought the famous line, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" would be some big romantic moment where they finally get together and have one of those old school movie kisses that look uncomfortable. Nope. He says it to her as he leaves her alone, childless, and friendless (which is no less than she deserves.)
total letdown.
Anyway, despite my one epic fail, I'm gonna keep trying to watch all those movies....Any suggestions for which one I should go for next?