the one about my office [the before]

I've worked with UMin for two and a half years. I started in January 2009. That's crazy. Actually, this is my five year anniversary of working at Shades. I started in the Missions Office in August 2006. I worked there three full years-the last semester I worked with the Missions Office I also worked with UMin.
Anyway, boring info for you-I just got a little caught up with how long I've been in this place.

The point of this post is that I've had this job for 2.5 years and I've never fully "moved in" to my office. I think the main reason why is that I've never been convinced I'd be at UMin long. Summer 2009 we were going to move to NOLA, then we found out about Chloe Belle. Then I thought for sure I'd be leaving after having Lily, but last December I decided to be here another year. And I still think this will be my last year, but today I made a decision. I don't want to think about what's going to happen in 12 months. I want to be fully present where I am. I've always been fully present with my ministry-you know how much I love college students-but for some reason I never got settled into my space.

After returning from my maternity leave this summer I have a new office-a legit one. I even have a nameplate by my door-something that never seemed to happen before. I've got a couch for girls to sit on! So I've decided to move in. I'm going to decorate, throw away the files from the girl who was here before me and start my own.

After 2.5 years, I'm going to act like I work here. This is a big moment for me.

I'll send you photos after I decorate...

the one about my job

I'm on maternity leave, so I've been living life nearly college student free for 7 weeks. It's been good to stop, rest, and focus on my family. However, this week God reminded me in a big way that I'm living my dream with the greatest ministry in the world.

At 3 am the other night feeding Lily I checked my facebook messages and had several from college girls. They were all bursting at the seams to tell me about the amazing things God is doing in their lives. How He's setting them free from sin, giving them victory over strongholds, enabling them to walk in freedom, and drawing them to His Word. When I got back to bed I couldn't even sleep. It is an incredible joy to be able to watch God move in girls' lives and to even be a small part of it. I'm so blessed.

Yesterday I went to a breakfast we have once a semester with college ministers from around the Birmingham area. Emily Grace, one of our Shades homekids, is interning with UMin this semester while I'm gone. She came to the breakfast and posted about it on her blog afterwards. It was great to read this and to be reminded from someone else's perspective about how totally blessed I am to do ministry at UMin and to be surrounded by such incredible people.

I love my job this summer: just ministering to my husband and my girls. But I'm grateful that come August I get to go back to my DREAM job: walking with and leading beautiful college girls all across Birmingham!

the one with my umin girls

I think I've mentioned before how much I love my job. I rarely take pictures of girls but I've tried to do better lately. Here are a few of my ladies...

I love mallory. love love love her.

My Thursday morning dgroup. These girls are amazing!

Alex. She's so cute and my face has swollen to the size of a watermelon.
Must remember to take pictures when I'm not pregnant...

This was last summer. Kara and I went on a road trip to see Megan in a super funny play. Love these two girls! So sad last year is their senior year, but so glad to have walked with them their whole college career...

the one about my heart

I'm sorry I've been a terrible blogger lately. I have about 80 blog posts in my head, but just haven't had the time to catch up. Maybe I will over the two week break...in between family, cooking, cleaning, and catching up on my to-do list that's 100 pages long. Sigh.

So, I'm going to start back with the Deeper Still conference I went to Dec 3 and 4.

Wednesday night, Dec 1 I was at Worship + Study where Chad spent the night focusing on our role in the AIDS Pandenic, as Dec 1 is World AIDS Day. He shared several stories and videos with us, and had us pray throughout the night for different issues. During our last time of personal prayer he asked us to focus on what our role in the AIDS story is. At first I couldn't even pray because I was so frustrated. We had just seen a video about Living Hope. I was frustrated because I want to be on the front lines in Africa fighting AIDS and shepherding people to their Hope and Healer. Sometimes I just get so mad because it's not like I'm ignoring the problem here in all of my American oppulence; I desperately want to be among the sick and dying, but that is just not where God has me right now in life.
For one of the first times ever in my life, I told God I was frustrated. Normally I'm just head over heels in love with God and just rarely ever have a bad thing to say to Him, cause He's awesome. So being honest with God about my frustration with where I'm not was hard for me. I said all that was on my heart and felt silence. I was pretty ok with that; I trust that God hears me and I wasn't looking for any kind of immediate apology from Him or anything. But I told Him. I cried out and gave Him the hurt places in my heart.

Friday night Beth and I arrived a little late for the conference, as per our usual style. We got into our seats right as they were dimming the lights and the worship set was starting. I had been excited about the weekend because I'm a Beth Moore junkie, but I hadn't taken the first second to quiet and prepare my heart for a word from the Lord. He didn't need my preparation, He was ready.
Almost as soon as the music started, the Lord started ministering to my heart. He didn't answer a single question that I had raised on Wednesday night. He didn't provide any answers for where I'm not, but He gave me an overwhelming gratefulness for where I am. I started thinking about the ministry I have with college students right here in this city, and I was overcome with gratitude. My ministry is so full, so rich, so vital, and so alive. Why have I wasted time wanting for something else?

I thought I'd share with you some of the specific things (mainly girls) God called into my mind that I am grateful for:

-the girl who has turned her incredible loss and grief into an opportunity for spiritual growth and maturity, and who is so quick to minister to others. She challenges me.
-the girl who is being so relentlessly pursued by the redeeming love of God. I look into her life and I am reminded by how much our God loves us.
-the girl who is drowning in a pit of sin, but she is reaching her hands and her face up to her Savior, seeking rescue from herself. I am privledged to walk alongside her.
-the opportunity to teach the Word of God.
-the girl who has a sweet relationship with the Lord, and who is always hungry for more. I hope Chloe Belle grows up to be like her.
-the girl who I've seen change from a happy-go-lucky freshman to a junior who is serious about sharing the Gospel and making a difference in the lives of people around her.
-the Godly people I work with
-the opportunity to share the Gospel

I loved that moment that the Lord soothed my heart. I was reminded that thankfulness can radically change your heart. And I was overwhelmed at how absolutely incredible this place is in my life. It's a place of beauty, and I couldn't ask for more.

the one with my theme song

Each week at UMin Sunday School a college student gets things started by giving the small groups a fun question to ask. One week Katie Snider asked everyone to share what their theme song would be-you know, the song that would play loudly whenever you entered the room or did something really rad.

I felt like a loser because I couldn't think of my theme song. It made me feel old and so uncool. Then, over Thanksgiving I was rockin out in the car to my all time favorites: Queen. It all became so clear.

Here's my theme song. Fits me perfectly.



Leave a comment and tell me about your theme song.

the one about Kara and Jesus

I wasn't feeling so great last night at Worship + Study. I was just sitting in my seat quietly during the worship time. I looked around me and saw college students praising God with wholehearted devotion and bent over in their seats in fervrent prayer. Students were either focused soley on God or drawn in focusing on themselves. Then I looked to my right at the girl who sat one seat down from me. I love this girl. LOVE her. Next Wednesday will be the one year anniversary of her mother's death. She was neither lost in worship or deep in prayer. She was staring blankly at the chair in front of her. Immediately I was broken over the pain and grief that seemed to be draped around her like a cloak.
I thought about the body of Christ. So often we come together for worship and get lost. Lost in the Lord, lost in our own hurt, pain, and needs. And we don't look around at the people surrounding us and feel their hurts, pains, and needs. I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed at how me-focused my walk with Christ can be. Ashamed at all that I do not see.

Then Bobby began to sing a new song:

On that day when I see all that You have for me

When I see You face to face there surrounded by Your grace

All my fears swept away in the light of Your embrace

When Your love is all I need and forever I am free

Where the streets are made of gold in Your presence here to hold

Let these songs of heaven rise to You alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain

No suffering, You hold me now

You hold me now

No darkness, no sickening

No hiding, You hold me now

You hold me now

In this life finally stand through my joy and my pain

Knowing there's a greater day there's a hope that never fails

When Your name is lifted high and forever praises last

For the glory of Your name I'll be living for the day

When the world has finally cease; all creation rest in peace

Let these songs of heaven rise to You alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain

No suffering, You hold me now

You hold me now

No darkness, no sickening

No hilding, You hold me now

You hold me now

Although I may be blind to the pain and grief around me, my gracious and intimate Father is not. He sees the hurting, He pursues the grieving, and He makes the broken whole.

the one where I love my job

I had coffee with a college student today. (this is the moment where I know you're all sighing with envy because I have the coolest job in the world-it's totally true, I do). We talked about life, love, and Jesus. A strange thing happens, so often when I'm ministering to college students, I find the words that are coming out of my mouth are the words that I need to hear. So often I get lost in life and forget what is most important.

God loves me. He loves me desperately. He has provided grace, salvation, and righteousness. His mercies are new each morning.

And this is all that my soul needs for joy.

I love my Jesus. Love love love Him.

the one where I'm excited

After ages of wanting it to happen, the UMin blog is up and running again. I'll be in charge of keeping it fun and updated, so I'd love for you to follow it. It should be great!

I love my job!!

the one with the awesome conversation

It happened last night at Worship + Study. Vegas, Stephanie, Kathy, and Allie where there.

Maegan: One time Chad asked me and Bobby our favorite inventions. I said peanut butter. They said some iPod hoo-hah. Long after the iPod is gone, people will still be enjoying peanut butter.

(more talk about the virtue of peanut butter)
Allie: What if peanut butter is the new manna?

Maegan: What if they had peanut butter in the wilderness?

Kathy: They wouldn't have been complaining.

awesome.